


Memories and Promises

by DocMui



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23361343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DocMui/pseuds/DocMui
Summary: Every year, Elsa sits in a room in Ahtohallan and remembers the road that led her here--the joy, the pain and the sacrifices made.
Relationships: Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa (Disney)/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 12





	Memories and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Frozen Angst Challenge 2020. Trigger warning: Major non-graphic character death.
> 
> This isn’t my usual thing, as I prefer lighter fare. But, I hope that this is entertaining enough.
> 
> \--Doc

The Strange Medium Guy with a Bad Haircut

(AKA Pearson "Doc" Mui)

presents

Frozen: Memories and Promises

Elsa sat on her throne. It wasn’t the throne of Arendelle, however. It was an elegantly-designed throne made of ice, complete with fluffy ice cushions. She watched as the icy figures played out their little dramas before her.

“ _Do you want to build a snowman_?” an icy Anna, all of 5 years old, asked Elsa’s younger self. 

Elsa smiled sadly. Things had been so much simpler then before the incident. She didn’t have to deal with crippling fear and anxiety every single day.

“ _Catch me!_ ” Anna shouted as she jumped from one mound to another. She was going fast, too fast—

Young Elsa slipped. The blast of ice hit Anna on the side of her head.

“ _Mama! Papa!_ ” young Elsa wailed. All around her, the snow playground warped and distorted in accordance with her emotions.

On her throne, Elsa waved her hand. The scene faded.

Every year, she needed to remind herself of this. Every year, she would see the unvarnished truth as only Ahtohallan could provide.

She gestured again and the years sped by. So many years had been lost by a single slip. And then, Mama and Papa didn’t come back.

She’d been so very weak. She had to gird herself against letting even the slightest bit of her power show.

That didn't mean that she couldn't have her moments. That didn't mean that she couldn't let the mask slip, ever so slightly.

_"I wish it could always be like this." the ice memory of Anna said._

_"Me too."_

Elsa waved her hand once more. The figures changed to that one scene that had burned itself into her mind.

_Her memory form draped itself over Anna's frozen figure. The tears flowed freely as sobs wracked the snow Elsa's lithe form._

_And then the miracle happened. With a disbelieving gasp, the snow Elsa openly gawked at Anna, alive and well._

_"You sacrificed yourself for me?"_

_"I love you."_

For three years, they'd tried their best to mend fences. Thirteen years of being virtual strangers in the same house had left them with scars that hard to address, much less heal.

The inequity of it all was not lost on her. Looking back, Elsa realized that she'd been overcompensating. Then again, there had been so much that she had to put right.

Anna understood. She always had. And she told Elsa that there would be time enough for both of them. They had the rest of their lives to heal.

Anna was many things, but a prophet wasn't one of them. They had both thought they'd been making the most of this precious time together.

Twelve years ago, she’d thought that Ahtohallan had granted her freedom. She acquired mastery over her powers as never before. She willingly abdicated in Anna’s favor, knowing that her sister could handle the throne. She’d spent long walks with the other Spirits, communing wordlessly when she wasn’t visiting the Northuldran tribe.

As it turned out, magic wasn’t quite as serene or predictable as she’d thought. If it were entirely predictable and regular, it might as well have been science. But magic was, in a certain sense, alive. It had its own whims.

One of the responsibilities she’d inherited involved periodic sweeps of the forest. The Spirits would guide her to where the flow of magic might have been too fast or slow. Normally, it would have taken one or two of the Spirits to correct the problem.

She smiled sadly as the next scene played out in front of her. Both she and Anna had been running themselves ragged with their own duties. They still made time for each other with little meetings and such.

\--------

_"Anna...why are you eating pickled herring? You always hated it when you were younger."_

_"Oh, well, um...you know how tastes change when you grow older and mature. I just felt like having some," the snow Anna said, trying to be nonchalant._

_"Like...a craving?" Snow Elsa prompted._

_Snow Anna's smile turned bright as tears shimmered in her eyes. "Like a craving," she confirmed. "I'm due in about 6 or 7 months."_

\--------

The room formed jagged spears of ice. Normally, she would have been concerned for everyone present. Here, in Ahtohallan, she was alone among the memories. Only she could get hurt.

She flinched at what she saw next. She had done her duty as best as she could and it still hadn't been enough.

\--------

_There had been a magical flare-up close to the river leading to Arendelle. Every living thing was fleeing from the sickly burst of malignant magic. Twisted grass and trees marked its path, and the river would have been, at best, tainted. At worst, every living thing would have been painfully twisted and changed--including people._

_Magic was not inherently evil, but it wasn't inherently good, either. This was a burst of chaos, the antithesis of the order that the Five Spirits sought to impose. It had taken all five Spirits to contain it._

_By the time she flopped off the Nokk in exhaustion, Gerda had hurried to meet her. The worry lines were evident, even with this snowy memory._

_"Your Majesty," Gerda said, her voice shakier than she'd ever remembered. "Please come with me. It's your sister."_

_"What's wrong? What's happened to Anna?" Dread tinged her voice. Gerda almost never lost her composure._

_"The baby has been born, a healthy girl. But...there were complications during the birth. The midwife and the doctor couldn't do anything. She--she's not going to last the night."_

_She had never run so fast in her life. Guards shifted to get out of her way. By the time she'd thrown open the doors to the royal quarters, her exhaustion had been burned off. All within looked at her with a combination of anxiety and sadness._

_Kristoff had never looked so broken. He carried a bundle in his arms, tears flowing unabashedly._

_Anna looked...wrong. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. That spark of life, of warmth and love...it was totally absent._

_There were a few whispered words, some promises made. Elsa had carved them in her heart._

_"I love you," Anna breathed weakly._

_"I love you too," Elsa returned, her lip quivering. "Don't go."_

_"Sorry," Anna said, her breaths growing more shallow. "Take care...of Kristina. Kristina Elsa. Promise me."_

_"I promise." her snow memory self said, clutching onto Anna's hand. With all the power she possessed, she would have given anything to heal Anna. But it wasn't meant to be._

_"Good," Anna whispered. Then she sighed one last time._

\--------

Things had progressed quickly after that. With Anna gone, Kristoff should have been the next in line. However, the transition hadn't gone smoothly at all. Add to the fact that he wasn't prepared to rule Arendelle and take care of a daughter was driving him to an early grave.

There was only one real choice. She had to go back.

\--------

_"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Honeymaren asked._

_"Kristoff's a good man, but he just can't--he just can't," Elsa said helplessly. "Every day, he's losing support among the people. There's only so much he can do."_

_"What about what you want?" Honeymaren asked. "You don't always have to live your life for others."_

_"I tried living for myself before," Elsa reminded her. "It was...nice. Liberating. But...there are things that must be done."_

_Honeymaren regarded her sadly. "Good luck to you, then."_

\--------

_"Elsa you don't have to do this," Kristoff said. "You don't even love him!"_

_"I do like him," Elsa returned. "And he genuinely cares for me. He's...good enough."_

_Kristoff sighed and combed his hair with his fingers. "So, you're going to just marry him for political reasons?"_

_"It's the side of royalty that I tried to spare Anna," she said. "I'm no longer queen, just a regent until Kristina comes of age." She managed a rueful chuckle. "That certainly made the suitor list much shorter."_

_"But why--?"_

_"I will not have Kristina grow up alone." Elsa said sternly. "Any children I have may not be in line for succession, but--"_

_"But you're doing this for the wrong reasons!" Kristoff interrupted her, clearly frustrated. "What about what you want?"_

_"It doesn't matter anymore," she said with a note of finality._

\--------

A brief gust nudged Elsa out of her reverie. Gale had entered the room, blowing a little folded up wad of paper. It landed squarely in her lap.

Unfolding it, she managed a shaky smile. Her son had managed a messy drawing with four stick figures in front of a large gate. In much neater handwriting (her daughter's, obviously), were words that struck her in the heart:

"Please come home, Mama. We miss you."

Elsa looked at the memories that played in front of her. There had been arguments and reconciliations. There had been shared joy as she'd given birth to two healthy children. And the cool interior of the glacier was warmed by the sounds of three cousins playing happily together.

It had been so, so tempting to watch all her memories and just...stay. But they were only representations of the past. She had people to take care of in the here and now.

"I'm going home," she said.

The Nokk materialized. With a wave, she opened up a path in the wall.

Before she left, Elsa lingered on a memory of Anna, just after they'd reconciled. The snow figure waved excitedly.

Elsa turned away and looked forward. She resisted the urge to look back.

The End


End file.
